Cosmic Slop
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As the likes of Noel Gallagher, Van Morrison and Ian Brown make their fans groan, Shaun Ponsonby says that you should have been groaning long ago....
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As Phillip Schofield comes out, Shaun Ponsonby is torn between dislike of him and anger at the casual homophobia thrown his way. ... -
Bands you didn't even know were still going are falling apart, but Slade already blew their plot twist load with Rose West. ... -
Shaun Ponsonby finds X Factor: Celebrities the most cringe programme since the Bros documentary, but maybe that is why it could finally improve the dead horse's ratings....
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After the expected furore over the Glastonbury line-up, Shaun Ponsonby sees an event full of women, queer icons and topped by a black British rapper that s... -
After Channel 4’s devastating Leaving Neverland, Michael Jackson fan Shaun Ponsonby has been forced to face some uncomfortable truths, and wonders how Jackson’... -
Shaun Ponsonby is sick of all of those memes that tell you why music today is crap based on the number of songwriters, so he’s decided to tell you why it’s bu... -
Shaun Ponsonby continues his community service for that time he swiped a shoehorn from a cobbler by watching this year’s BRIT Awards so you don’t have to. He ... -
A celebration of women that managed to snub a trailblazing queer black woman who all but stole the show. Shaun Ponsonby found this year’s Grammys an improvement, bu... -
As the backlash against ITV 2’s Love Island reaches levels of intellectual superiority, Shaun Ponsonby suggests that the loudest critics need some self awareness.... -
As Greta Van Fleet continue to be touted as the New Led Zeppelin, Shaun Ponsonby pokes holes in the theory that the youngsters will save rock & roll. ... -
For the fourth year running, Shaun Ponsonby watches the BRIT Awards so you don’t have to, and perhaps for the first time ever, doesn’t find it a total failure... -
As Isle Of Wight Festival announce their 50th anniversary line up, Shaun Ponsonby questions whether they should be allowed to trade off the original festival’s noto... -
As the BBC launch their dreadful new Friday night music show amid much fanfare, Shaun Ponsonby finds it emblematic of pop in the 21st century. ... -
As Justin Timberlake returns to headline the Superbowl halftime show, Shaun Ponsonby looks back at the American media’s appalling display following his 2004 appeara... -
As Demi Lovato releases her new album and documentary, Shaun Ponsonby investigates the relationship between Whalegate and her sister Poot. ... -
Gentlemen start your engines, and may the best woman win! Shaun Ponsonby sees something in Drag Race that he doesn't get from any other reality contest. ... -
Does pop still sound like pop? Shaun Ponsonby ponders the increasing eccentricity of pop music, and why it has taken such a sharp left turn.... -
Suffering from eczema wasn’t the most irritating thing Shaun Ponsonby experienced this week, it was the interminable MTV Video Music Awards 2017.... -
Depressed at the state of the world as we know it, Shaun Ponsonby tries to cheer us up by delving into one of pop's forgotten back pages. ... -
Following issues at Y Not, Hope & Glory and BoomTown, Shaun Ponsonby believes that we’re hearing about failing festivals in 2017 as often as we heard about dyin... -
Having spent years dismissing Jaden Smith as a joke, Shaun Ponsonby starts to reassess what the kid is really all about.... -
As the Mercury Prize shortlist is announced, Shaun Ponsonby argues that the award has never been all its cracked up to be. ...
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Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth have overtaken Gangnam Style as the most popular video on YouTube, but Shaun Ponsonby finds it the musical equivalent of a Happy Meal toy....
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After an article on the death of the guitar led to mourning from some, Shaun Ponsonby argues that it isn’t worth your tears. ...
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In a lame attempt for legitimacy, Shaun Ponsonby writes a supposedly mandatory article about Glastonbury, and looks at the major differences between two of 2017’s h... -
As KISS’ Gene Simmons tries to patent the devil horns hand gesture, Shaun Ponsonby looks back at the history of it’s usage. Spoiler: Gene didn’t invent ...
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Shaun Ponsonby keeps his eyes on the political and asks how audiences can possibly act surprised or offended when prominent, outspoken artists incorporate their views int...
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Returning like Twin Peaks on a different network, Shaun Ponsonby finds the all-new Cosmic Slop closer to Alien: Covenant....
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Spearheaded by BET's acclaimed miniseries The New Edition Story, Shaun Ponsonby confesses to an unlikely series of personal obsessions. ...
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As Mariah Carey and Gary Barlow venture into Hollywood, Shaun Ponsonby dreads the onslaught of pop stars in movies. ...
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With hype over LGBT characters in several upcoming movies, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we haven't reached a point where that isn't a big deal....
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As the hype surrounding Ed Sheeran's new album starts to grate, Shaun Ponsonby would rather talk about Hieronymus Bosch and the mating habits of the Praying Mantis. ...
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As Disney prepare their latest live action remake, Shaun Ponsonby considers whether they have any other option....
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After Andrew Ridgeley paid tribute to his former Wham! bandmate at BRITS, Shaun Ponsonby answers the question on virtually nobody's lips....
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Back for his annual plea deal punishment Shaun Ponsonby breaks down the 2017 Brit Awards. ...
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For his milestone 100th Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby shuns the celebrations to concentrate on trashing people more talented than him at the Grammys. ...
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Despite plaudits from fans and the media, Shaun Ponsonby noticed a strange school of thought developing around Lady GaGa's Super Bowl performance. ...
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As every article written all week was about the protests, Shaun Ponsonby nearly gave up his column, until an astonishing announcement from Gary Barlow. ...
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As nobody's favourite obnoxious punching bag, Chris Brown, stirs controversy once again, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we bother to keep him around. ...
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Since Michael Buble had to give up his high profile gig, Shaun Ponsonby somehow manages to tie the Brits, Showgirls and Joe Swash together in a nice little package....
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Responding to social media self-righteousness, Shaun Ponsonby does his usual half-arsed rant. ...
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As 2016 ends in a mire of disappointment, Shaun Ponsonby takes a look back at the year in innocuous bullshit via self-serving conceit. ...
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The BBC Music Awards returns for its third depressing year, and as ever Shaun Ponsonby watched it so you don’t have to....
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Originally published on Getintothis As the race for the Christmas number one gets closer to the finish line, Shaun Ponsonby looks at this year’s favourites. Her...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As Kanye West is hospitalised following a series of bizarre outbursts, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby asks if we should back off and l...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As a plethora of artists ready their seasonal albums, Shaun Ponsonby exclusively reveals his own Christmas record to the nation. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis Following the shock result in the US election, as ever Shaun Ponsonby is focussed on the bigger issues. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As the abysmal American election reaches its conclusion, Shaun Ponsonby suggests a reality TV show that can help politics build on Trumpa...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As Bieber makes headlines for shushing his audience, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby reckons it matters little given that Biebs has no...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As Joe Jonas unveils his new, sexy image, Shaun Ponsonby finds little worth masturbating over. ...
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Originally posted on GetintothisAs Bruno Mars reveals the first single off his new album, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders when he is going to get an identity of...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As Seasick Steve is revealed to be something of a fraud, Shaun Ponsonby responds with a resounding “so what?”...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As FIFA shuts down its racism taskforce, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby congratulates them for having “completely fulfilled̶...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As the world trolls Corey Feldman, Shaun Ponsonby asks if his performance was really that bad. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis With new records supposedly being broken every week and Olly Murs complaining about the lack of fairness in the charts, Shaun Ponsonby as...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As UB40 support Jeremy Corbyn at a weird press conference this week, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby tries to get his head around it by...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As the MTV Video Music Awards desperately plod on, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby decided to watch it so you didn’t have to. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis Following James Corden’s attempts to sing a Prince song with Coldplay, Shaun Ponsonby seems just about ready to give up. ...
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As we reach an Orwellian dictatorship where Gary Lineker is Big Brother, Shaun Ponsonby predicts a radical uprising of oppressed non-football fans. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As rumours run rife regarding Adele’s involvement in the Super Bowl, Shaun Ponsonby asks how appropriate she is. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As Donald Trump officially becomes the Republican nominee for the American election, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby explores the sole ...
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Following this year’s festivities, Shaun Ponsonby ponders on the lessons he learned at LIMF 2016....
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Originally posted on Getintothis With T In The Park in crisis, Shaun Ponsonby asks if the audiences at major British music festivals has chaged beyond recognition....
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Originally posted on Getintothis As the rise of The 1975 continues, Shaun Ponsonby feels a sense of déjà vu with front man Matt Healy. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis With the country in disarray, Shaun Ponsonby decides that if the news can still afford to report on non-stories, then he can too. ...
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Following obvious recent events, Shaun Ponsonby tries to explain where the country is via a classic episode of The Simpsons and the Catholic method of contraception....
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Originally posted on Getintothis With 60% of the Spice Girls expected to reunite with replacements, Shaun Ponsonby wonders who the bloody hell would want to see that. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis Following a claim about an on-stage incident, Shaun Ponsonby explores a recent pandemic. ...
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Seeing the frustrations first-hand, Shaun Ponsonby adds his voice to a current burning topic. ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis As a sequel to the classic cult movie is announced, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby bemoans the laziness of constant franchise reboots....
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Originally posted on Getintothis With rumours of a Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy collaboration, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders if supergroups ever ...
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Originally posted on Getintothis Like the rest of the world, Shaun Ponsonby watched Azealia Banks’ attack on Zayn Malik in horror, so the sanctimonius cretin decid...
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Announcing a new album deal with Sony, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders if Robbie Williams was actually the last un-boring pop megastar Britain has produced. ...
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With speculation rife over the identity of “Becky”, Shaun Ponsonby calls bullshit. ...
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After dumping frontman Brian Johnson for Axl Rose after 30 years, Shaun Ponsonby bids farewell to one of rock’s most beloved outfits....
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As KISS’ resident arsehole Gene Simmons gets into a spat with NWA, Shaun Ponsonby asks how there can still be a rock-rap divide....
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With The Smiths starting a Twitter account sending ripples of excitement through the internet, Shaun Ponsonby tries to slap some sense into everybody....
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Shaun Ponsonby vents at Justin Bieber for replacing himself with a cardboard cut-out for fans who paid $2,000 for a Meet and Greet....
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As America’s film and music stars come out either way on Trump, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby notices that the cooler the personality, the less likely they are...
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Following the cancellation of her European tour, Shaun Ponsonby listened to Janet Jackson’s discography and began to wonder if she has been a more interesting artis...
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As social media bemoans the lazy choice of Glastonbury’s headliners, Shaun Ponsonby asks if the festival will ever be able to announce headliners without an outcr...
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With another year of nothing, Shaun Ponsonby attempts to find something interesting to say about this year’s BRITS. ...
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As another year brings another dull Grammy ceremony, Shaun Ponsonby asks when pop and rock stars became less cool than the rest of us....
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As one of Britain’s most maligned bands announce their intention to quit touring, Shaun Ponsonby asks if they really deserve their reputation. ...
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With the hype surrounding the former One Direction singer’s debut solo single, Shaun Ponsonby asks why explicit sex songs are considered mature, rather than adolesc...
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Rapper B.o.B. this week proved that celebrities shouldn’t control their own twitter account by lecturing his followers on why the world is flat, and Shaun Ponsonby ...
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Shaun Ponsonby vents bitterly about the BRITS’ characteristically lazy nominations and lousy sounding Bowie tribute....
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As rational human beings start giving into Justin Bieber, Shaun Ponsonby asks whether we should really buy such a transparent mediation. ...
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Shaun Ponsonby spent his Christmas having a mini-Twitter spat with Prince about the proposed Purple Rain reissue, so he obviously wants to brag about it. ...
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Adding to the long list of end of year lists, Shaun Ponsonby looks at the 2015’s genius words of wisdom from the musical philosophers of our time. ...
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With arguably the greatest title of any edition of Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby looks at Peter Gabriel’s scientific experiments....
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As controversy surrounds R. Kelly’s performance at the Soul Train Awards, Shaun Ponsonby poses some big questions. ...
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After Justin Bieber receives abuse for wearing Nirvana and Metallica t-shirts, Shaun Ponsonby asks why this means so much to us. ...
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As Prince postponed the sale of his European tour because of touting on an “industrial scale”, Shaun Ponsonby supports him wholeheartedly. ...
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Shaun Ponsonby caught 80s bad boys Motley Crue on their final UK tour last week, and he was surprised to find it gave him something to ponder....
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Adele returns and is accused of ripping off Tom Waits, whilst Sam Smith unveils the saddest song he’s ever written. Shaun Ponsonby wonders why people think being mi...
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With the release of Spectre, Shaun Ponsonby outlines his utter hatred for a beloved British institution. ...
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Shaking his head at the delusions of noted philosopher Olly Murs, Shaun Ponsonby pokes holes – and, in some ways weirdly agrees – with his statements. ...
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As George Osborne claims to be an NWA fan, Shaun Ponsonby questions how the Chancellor can be a fan of the gangsta rap legends, while ignoring the message in their mus...
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With the latest accusations of homophobia aimed at Azealia Banks, Shaun Ponsonby finds himself perplexed at her idiocy. ...
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Shaun Ponsonby tries to desperately to put a unique, music-based spin on the recent David Cameron allegations. ...
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Admitting that he wouldn’t even go to see the real Whitney Houston, Shaun Ponsonby is still uneasy about the proposed touring hologram....
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More a series of boring publicity stunts than an awards show, Shaun Ponsonby takes a swipe at the MTV VMAs....
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There’s a lot of anti-passion surrounding the impending demise of 1D. Shaun Ponsonby doesn’t understand why these people even care. ...
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Having watched horrible, long-forgotten TV variety shows starring the Osbournes and the Jacksons over this last week, Shaun Ponsonby puts his foot down....
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Two rock legends have confessed that they don’t actually like music, and Shaun Ponsonby is befuddled. ...
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Shaun Ponsonby gets the lowdown on William and Alex Ferguson reuniting with…erm…you know, the other two....
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Getting distracted whilst looking for music news to waffle about, Shaun Ponsonby instead celebrates the birthday on the world’s greatest rabbit....
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After making a brief observation last week, Shaun Ponsonby takes a full stab at NME’s unhealthy Noel Gallagher obsession. ...
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With Madonna’s latest attempts to convince the world that she is a hoot, Shaun Ponsonby asks “why?” Just “why?”...
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As Macca receives a backlash from Lennon fans, Shaun Ponsonby gives some perspective....
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As Taylor Swift successfully takes on Apple, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders what other world problems she could solve....
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Shaun Ponsonby tackles the Sex Pistols credit card debacle the only way he can. With quantum mechanics. ...
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As DJ and producer Ten Walls goes on an anti-gay rant on social media, Shaun Ponsonby calls him out on all accounts. ...
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Gary Barlow’s continued success is bad for the UK economy, or at least Shaun Ponsonby seems to think so....
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As Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly blames hip-hop for America’s decline in religion, Shaun Ponsonby suggests he takes a good hard look at himself....
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As The Simpsons loses one of its core cast members, Shaun Ponsonby takes a break from scouring music news to plead with the show’s staff to let it go. ...
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With Simon Cowell this week announcing his X Factor for DJs, Shaun Ponsonby can barely contain his excitement....
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As Britain heads to the polls, Shaun Ponsonby takes a look at the campaigning rock stars and celeb-u-tards in the public eye during the 2015 election. ...
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In a week were Oasis fans made ill-informed, irrational assumptions, Shaun Ponsonby points out the flaws in the Glastonbury rumours....
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As Kanye denies the existence of the Illuminati, Shaun Ponsonby takes a rational look at the myth. ...
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As Jason Derulo announces his fourth album, Shaun Ponsonby laments him and his lazy ilk. ...
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As the often lamented Rock & Roll Hall of Fame readies it’s 2015 ceremony, Shaun Ponsonby feels the need to defend it’s existence. Ish. ...
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Watching in horror at the reaction of One Direction fans following Zayn Malik’s departure, Shaun Ponsonby points the finger of blame at the group’s representa...
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As Madonna’s accusations of ageism against Radio 1 continue, Shaun Ponsonby tells her to wake up and smell her audience. ...
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The announcement of Kanye’s headlining slot at Glastonbury has suffered a backlash. Shaun Ponsonby is trying to convince the participants to get over it. ...
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As Twitter makes him feel guilty for flying the flag for one of his childhood heroes, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we allow ourselves to have guilty pleasures. ...
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Before starting a supergroup Johnny Depp labelled actors-turned-musicians “sickening”, Shaun Ponsonby investigates how true this is....
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In a special bumper Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby mulls over the highs and lows of what is advertised as “the biggest night in British music“....
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This week, as music fans were forced to read about X Factor news, Shaun Ponsonby asks why sports fans don’t suffer a similar fate....
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As Kanye West replicates Swiftgate, Shaun Ponsonby definitely doesn’t question his motives for sucking up to Jay-Z’s wife. Again....
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It’s all kicking off on Blink 182: The Soap Opera with lead actors axed, cast changes and outrageous storylines, Shaun Ponsonby is not a fan....
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In the second instalment of new column Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby deplores this year’s token telethon rock concert, Live Earth....
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In his inaugural Cosmic Slop column, Shaun Ponsonby mulls over the need or demand for portable music players in a digital world....
