Dead Perch
Dead Perch

KLF Khronicals #13: Dragged Back Into The Dark Ages

Vicky Pea finally comes full circle with her reflection on Welcome To The Dark Ages… until…garhh no we’re going back! 

By Vicky Pea
Mon 06 November, 2017

Dead Perch Come Calling

I finally think I’ve come to the end of my KLF Khronicals

Seven weeks, a dozen entries, over 20,000 words. I’ve been told that’s longer than some Masters dissertations and is by far the most I’ve ever written about anything in my entire life. I’ll think I’ll upgrade my Graduation to ‘with honours’, if that’s even a real thing. I was hoping….


6th November 2017

It was always my intention to drag out a reflection piece, the 23rd November seeming like the most appropriate time to publish it, the first-ish Toxteth Day Of The Dead. Three months on from the now legendary events. But those bloody JAMs couldn’t let me have it could they? No. It was too appropriate. Too obvious. And so today we’re dragged kicking and screaming (read: clapping and grinning) back to the Dark Ages with a typically cryptic teaser (watch at the very bottom of this article).

So it seems as though we’ll all being seeing each other again much sooner than we’d anticipated. Possibly to take part in the highly criminal act of burning down the Shard before becoming cosy conspiring cell mates. Who knows?

Of course, due to our experiences in August, many of us already had plans to catch up on November 23rd anyway, with little meetings, events and rituals set for up and down the country. I’m half tempted to rant about how irritating it is to have to potentially drop our plans at the beck and call of The JAMS. We’ve got our own shit to be getting on with now and most of that is due to you filling our heads with pretty little ideas and aspirations the last time out. Did you really doubt us so much that you’d thought we’d still have the 23rd November free to go on a jolly? Our new (even holier) holy day?

The new teaser raises a lot of questions. How will these new events relate to our weekend at the end of August? Will they at all? Are we actually going to burn the Shard? Will I end up getting another tattoo? Will I ever be free of this? Was this always part of the plan or something more sporadic?

I have to believe this was a previously unplanned addition to our little adventure. Firstly, the three weeks notice. Three weeks is fine to clear a day, as opposed to a weekend (literally immediately put in my request for leave), but as I mentioned above – surely they knew we’d all be up to new hijinks on this date. Talks of mini reunions were happening before Welcome To The Dark Ages even ended. If they’d known about this then, a heads up/save the date/wink and a nudge would have circulated. We’d have heard whispers before now, The 400 is a village and an army and little gets past them.

A question already posed in the minutes following the reveal asked whether this is the result of over success, or under success? Were The JAMS so taken by the events in Liverpool that they’d decided to maximise the interest in their return by continuing their antics, or did it not cause the desired splash and ripple-effect required and so they’ve gone to get London’s attention?

Clearly the 400, everyone involved, and The JAMS had a bloody great time in August, why would we not want to have that much fun again? It was an absolute blast and I’d be milking it for as much as possible for as long as possible. But they can’t just come back to Liverpool again. No one wants to play the same gig to the same people twice, and so it makes perfect sense to get London in on the action.

Not only will this infuriatingly get more coverage, or so I expect, it widens up the pool of possible participants, even more so with its free price tag and single day duration. The hype created by the initial event will have spread and infiltrated those tentative minds who although flinched in the face of a £100 three day event, will now be more than willing to join our ranks for a day and get a taste of what we feasted on for three days.

Assuming it wasn’t planned it means somewhere along the way a need for a second event became apparent. The biggest neon flashing clue in this regard comes from an interview with the Dead Perch Merch Team currently online over on the continually brilliant

“There is more in the pipeline, but nothing will be reissued… This will all be launched in true JAMs style before Christmas, so everyone needs to keep a keen ear to the ground.”

The quote refers to new products that were not ready, or at least not available, at Welcome To The Dark Ages.

“The ‘one more item’ will involve a piece of vinyl (no it’s not music!), a new screen print poster, a download (no it’s not music!) and some more needless packaging.”

Is it safe to say this is it? True JAM’s style? Check. Before Christmas. Check. It’s even more convincing seeing as the message is delivered by the Dead Perch Nation.

With that we have the need for a second event. Another product launch (after all that was what WTTDA was all about). Well actually we don’t necessarily have the need for another event at all. The JAMS could have just chucked it all online and reaped the rewards as we gobbled it all up like the addicts we are.

That’s why I think this new event is absolutely proves the first was a success. Welcome To The Dark Ages was successful enough they knew they could do it again. Not just do it again but down size it and upgrade it in one action. Successful enough that people will travel from far and wide for one day in London for an event they could easily and reasonably avoid throwing at all.

Alas, here we fuuking go again. I now look forward to a sea of Badger Kull t-shirts invading the capital in just over a fortnight. The reflection can wait, may as well just add whatever comes next to it, if it ever ends. So much for this being the last one!

👈 Return to KLF Khronicals #12 here

Onwards to KLF Khronicals #14 here 👉

To follow Vicky’s KLF experience between entries and bug her loads follow her on Twitter and Instagram @vxpeax

Welcome To The Dark Ages was covered for free (actually at quite a large cost!) by Planet Slop and Vicky Pea. If you have enjoyed the coverage, please consider donating to Planet Slop to keep us running. Thank you.

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