Slop

KLF Khronicals #6: The Ice Kream Van Kometh

Wed 23 August, 2017

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu are back to a warm reception! 

August 22nd / 23rd

At 5pm I was somewhat laughed out of work by my manager, in good jest I’ll add! With my constant chatter of the event they’re all now quite intrigued by it and look forward to ‘hearing all about it’ upon my return. “If I return” as they like to tease.

So with that I hot foot it up to the Static Gallery to collect my wristband, choose number 7 (‘I can draw’, they didn’t specify ‘I can draw well’) and purchase, admittedly, more Dead Perch Merch than I was planning to and probably not the last either.

I decide for a shirt (which I’ll probably wear to its bare threads over the next three days), a Hi-Vis vest and a poster. Seeing as everything costs £20.23 at this stage I pass on the mug and the ‘Starbucks’ cup as I’ve already more mugs than a girl needs anyway and people seem to have an urge to gift them to me. Seriously, I got five this birthday just gone.

I eventually join the quickly expanding queue on Bold Street at around 23.10. It was absolutely alive with chatter. I’m going to use some pretty gag worthy over used phrases now but there really was a buzz in the air, the likes of which I’ve never felt before.

It we weren’t already having a ball we were about to. Sirens are heard approaching, the type of sirens that belong to an old yanky cop car. Or a Timelord.

Seeing Ford Timelord (an imitation admittedly) pass down Bold Street (twice) being whooped and cheered was fantastic. It was like seeing a very niche celebrity pass by. Like Tommy Wiseau. Excitement was unavoidable.

Now that we were all pretty certain this was actually happening and apparently going according to plan too, it was just a matter of waiting. We didn’t have to wait long.

At 23 seconds past midnight or there about’s the Ice Kream Van did Kometh to the tinny sounds of What Time Is Love?. Holy shit. I couldn’t have subdued my insane grin if I had tried. By why should I. It was brilliant!

A wave of cheers followed the van down the street to its eventual halt outside News From Nowhere as Jimmy and Bill alight from the vehicle and officially mark their return.

By the time the queue had reached its full length I guess I was about a quarter to a third of the way back, but it moved quickly and in no time I was standing in front of The JAMS handing them their freshly released trilogy for stamping.

“Welcome back”, I manage to spit out.

“It’s good to be back” Bill replies with a look in his eyes that says “Not that you’d remember us the first time kid”.

“This is going to be fun, see you tomorrow!” and away I go back to the Dead Perch, but not before getting a little souvenir of the van for myself.

There I am, trying to not look totally chuffed.

You can already tell the Dead Perch is going to be a fantastic place to be this week. It’s brimming and full of energy when I arrive back so I take my drink and sit with a lovely bunch of people from London, Wales and the North East respectfully. We compare of stamps, by now we’re all aware that Bill and Jimmy had several on rotation such as these lot.

Then I set to comparing the review copy of 2023 to the published version with my fellow JAMS fans. Not word for word (I’m not insane but probably will be at some point) but for any immediately visible differences. There are some. The contents of the review copy has dates and times, the published version is without. Yes, I did loose some sleep over this, but I was also still pretty jacked up at 3.40am by the time I got home.

Everyone seemed pretty jacked up in fact. I think part of us wanted to get going right then and there, lets get to work! Eventually however we do wind down and drinks are finished. In fact the Dead Perch was drank dry so well done everyone, before volunteers return to hotels, hostels and homes.

An incredible evening that will live long in the memory. Lets make some more today.

You can keep up to date with Vicky’s Welcome To The Dark Ages experiences on Twitter @vxpeax

Catch up on Vicky’s past KLF Khronicals here. If you have enjoyed them and are able to do so please consider donating to Planet Slop to help us keep up the good work. 

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