Cosmic Slop #3: Blink-182 and the rock & roll soap opera
It’s all kicking off on Blink 182: The Soap Opera with lead actors axed, cast changes and outrageous storylines, Shaun Ponsonby is not a fan.
Originally published on Getintothis
Soap operas have always been a bit weird.
Think about it. The number of episodes they make a week means that quite often the whole thing is a bit rushed, the acting leaves a lot to be desired, the storylines drag on for longer than they should and the pre-watershed dialogue is about as realistic as that baby in American Sniper. The whole thing often turns out just a little off kilter and, let’s face it, kind of lame.
So, its always a real shame when a rock & roll band decide to play out their career as if it was a soap opera, whether you like the band or not. A few years ago, Aerosmith were at it, complete with Joe Perry pushing Steven Tyler off stage, and Velvet Revolver’s career ended with a Scott Weiland vs. The World-type storyline.
This brings us to Blink-182. The past week or two has seen this storyline develop at rapid pace. No-one saw it coming, with cliffhanger after cliffhanger coming in to make us wonder what will happen next. For those not been watching, here’s an episodic recap for you.
Previously on Blink-182…
Over a month ago front man Tom DeLonge seemed interested in a new Blink album telling Gigwise “the goal is to find an area or an environment that’s different and not just a normal studio”, and NME that they have “solved the puzzle” as to how to put the record out.
But, like Den and Angie Watts in Eastenders, all was not well, and early last week a statement was released saying that DeLonge had left the band “indefinitely”.
DeLonge himself seemed confused by this, and posted on Instagram “I never quit the band…the ONLY truth here is that I have commitments that limit my availability this year. I love Blink-182 and I’m not leaving”.
Remaining band members Mark Hoppus and Travis Barker then counted this in Rolling Stone, with Hoppus stating that less than a week before they were due to start recording, they received an email from DeLonge’s manager which stated he currently had no interest in recording and, after a flurry of emails going back and forth, the final message read “Tom. Is. Out.”
This would have been a good place to leave it. It all sounds pretty conclusive. But soap operas don’t do that, damnit! No, they need to drag a highly rated storyline out to ridiculous lengths to keep the viewers, even if they do jump the shark in the process.
So DeLonge then took to Twitter to state that he and Hoppus had discussed letting Barker go, after the drummer was unable to make a tour of Australia due to his crippling fear of flying that came about after he was involved in a horrific plane crash in 2008 from which he was one of only two survivors. Of course, the idea that you would consider firing a guy involved in such an event for not wanting to fly makes you a despicable human being.
However, DeLonge deleted the tweet and Hoppus confirmed that, though the conversations took place, he was only humouring DeLonge as he knew he was only venting his frustration and blowing off some steam.
DeLonge then posted a long message on his Facebook account, in which he outlined his position which was surprisingly fair from his point of view.
But it seems to be the last word. The public finally decided they’d had enough and ratings started to drop. Like Nick Tilsley in Coronation Street, Tom DeLonge has been replaced. The man for the job is apparently Matt Skiba of Alkaline Trio.
But who is to say that DeLonge won’t infamously return from the dead in the shower like Bobby Ewing in 1980s super-soap Dallas? They could say his exit was a dream and make all storylines up to that point completely moot, returning to the road and playing to large audiences again.
The issue with this whole story, though, is that it is a real slap in the face to Blink’s fans and supporters. Any time you can use Eastenders as a metaphor for a band, something has gone horribly wrong.
Blink-182’s most famous video has them running naked through the streets of Los Angeles. Their stage act consists of toilet humour and the occasional song. That they were able to look more immature than that is an achievement in itself. Oh Blink 182, what’s your age again??
Nickelback front man Chad Kroeger has been snapped in the studio with One Direction. Man, he just keeps getting cooler and cooler, doesn’t he?
The Cribs’ Ryan Jarman has stated that “grown ups still don’t like The Cribs. That’s absolutely indisputable”. That’s Ryan Jarman, 34, of The Cribs, who temporarily featured Johnny Marr, 51.
Tom Petty’s claim of songwriting royalties from Sam Smith is a bit odd, given that he told Rolling Stone in 2006 regarding the similarities between the Red Hot Chilli Peppers’ Dani California and his own Mary Jane’s Last Dance, “I seriously doubt there was any negative intent there. And a lot of rock & roll songs sound alike. Ask Chuck Berry. The Strokes took American Girl for their song Last Nite, and I saw an interview where they actually admitted it. That made me laugh out loud. I was like, ‘OK, good for you’.” Just sayin’. A bit inconsistent.
Surge Knight has been arrested as he is suspected to have intentionally caused a fatal hit and run. Of course, if you ask me [rest of comment removed by legal team].