Generic Magazine’s Best Albums of 2017

As 2017 draws to a close, Shaun Ponsonby presents the top ten types of albums that will appear on every single end of year list produced by every other publication.  

Cosmic Slop #124: It Isn’t Isle Of Wight’s 50th Anniversary

As Isle Of Wight Festival announce their 50th anniversary line up, Shaun Ponsonby questions whether they should be allowed to trade off the original festival’s notoriety on the basis that […]

Backstage Tales From Bland TV #2: Richard & Judy – An Odyssey of Love

In the second in his series of imagined backstage stories from terrible TV shows, Shaun Ponsonby travels back to 1983 for an erotic, romantic epic set in the early days […]

Journey Into The JAMS #3: Burn The Shard Part 1

Vicky Pea enters the pages of 2023 to take a whistle-stop tour with The JAMS – not those ones, but those ones too. 

Journey Into The JAMS #3: The Lucky 49 & 1 Golden Idiot

The heat is on as Burn The Shard gets closer, the Lucky 49 begin to reveal themselves and we get some solid intel on what’s going on. 

Rating Queen

Ahead of Queen’s UK tour with Adam Lambert, Shaun Ponsonby examines the back catalogue of one of Britain’s best loved, wildly eccentric and misunderstood bands. 

Journey Into The JAMS #2: The 99 & The 400 Legacy

As a new faction takes shape Vicky Pea wonders what could await them and gets her hands on some of The 400’s legacy. 

Journey Into The JAMS #1: Dragged Back Into The Dark Ages

Vicky Pea finally comes full circle with her reflection on Welcome To The Dark Ages… until…garhh no we’re going back! 

Cosmic Slop #123: Sounds Like Shit

As the BBC launch their dreadful new Friday night music show amid much fanfare, Shaun Ponsonby finds it emblematic of pop in the 21st century. 

Cosmic Slop #122: Remembering The Nipplegate Hysteria

As Justin Timberlake returns to headline the Superbowl halftime show, Shaun Ponsonby looks back at the American media’s appalling display following his 2004 appearance with Janet Jackson.

Is Modern Art Relevant To The Everyday?

With Tate Liverpool embarking on a nine month exhibition looking at the work of Roy Lichtenstein, Gary Dougherty considers the influence of the Modern artists on our everyday lives.

Cosmic Slop #121: Two Sides Of Demi Lovato

As Demi Lovato releases her new album and documentary, Shaun Ponsonby investigates the relationship between Whalegate and her sister Poot. 

Tom Petty RIP – Unexpected Rock & Roll Rebel

Aside from writing four decades of great songs, Tom Petty was also an opponent of the music industry. Shaun Ponsonby considers his legacy both on and off stage. 

Cosmic Slop #120: I Finally Get RuPaul’s Drag Race

Gentlemen start your engines, and may the best woman win! Shaun Ponsonby sees something in Drag Race that he doesn’t get from any other reality contest.    

Cosmic Slop #119: Are We Scared To Be Pop Stars?

Does pop still sound like pop? Shaun Ponsonby ponders the increasing eccentricity of pop music, and why it has taken such a sharp left turn.

Dix, Sander and Portraying a Nation: Germany 1919–1933

With Tate Liverpool’s Portraying a Nation exhibition showcasing Germany during the rise of Hitler, Niloo Sharifi looks at the work of Dix and Sander with one eye on the current […]

Cosmic Slop #118: VMA’s 2017 – Visual Gonorrhoea

Suffering from eczema wasn’t the most irritating thing Shaun Ponsonby experienced this week, it was the interminable MTV Video Music Awards 2017.

KLF Khronicals #12: What The FUUK Was Badger Kull?

Vicky Pea attempts to get to the bottom of Badger Kull… and discovers a training course?

KLF Khronicals #11: Grapefruit Are Not The Only Bombs

Vicky Pea attempts to weave a narrative through the three days of Welcome To The Dark Ages. 

KLF Khronicals #10: MuMufication and The People’s Pyramid

Vicky Pea dwells on the prospect of The People’s Pyramid and wonders why this isn’t bigger news? 

KLF Khronicals #9: Graduation, The Rites Of Mumufication, Toxteth Day Of The Dead

Vicky Pea hereby bestows her remains to The Justified Ancients Of Mu Mu for the purpose of building The People’s Pyramid.  

KLF Khronicals #8: The Day Of The Book

Vicky Pea joins the ranks of Book Two Chapter Four for The Day Of The Book.

KLF Khronicals #7: The K Foundation Burned A Million Quid Because…

Vicky Pea jumps head first in to Mumuland to get a job, an answer and a tattoo. 

KLF Khronicals #6: The Ice Kream Van Kometh

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu are back to a warm reception! 

KLF Khronicals #5

What the FUUK is going on? We’re about to find out as Vicky Pea departs for Mumuland. 

Cosmic Slop #117: Cheering Up A Broken World

Depressed at the state of the world as we know it, Shaun Ponsonby tries to cheer us up by delving into one of pop’s forgotten back pages. 

KLF Khronicals #4

With a week to go before the KLF’s Welcome To The Dark Ages event, Vicky Pea finally experiences the calm before the storm. 

Cosmic Slop #116: Festivals Are 2017’s Dead Celebrities

Following issues at Y Not, Hope & Glory and BoomTown, Shaun Ponsonby believes that we’re hearing about failing festivals in 2017 as often as we heard about dying celebrities last […]

KLF Khronicals #3

Details. We have details. Just a few but enough to get Vicky Pea in a right old state. 

Hope & Glory Fiasco – The Festival That Never Should Have Been

An obviously unsuitable venue, a clear lack of organisation and a promoter whose shows have appeared on Rip-Off Britain. Why was Hope and Glory given permission to go ahead?

Cosmic Slop #115: I Don’t Hate Jaden Smith

Having spent years dismissing Jaden Smith as a joke, Shaun Ponsonby starts to reassess what the kid is really all about.

KLF Khronicals #2

A week closer to the big event, Vicky Pea continues to absorb all KLF information like a sponge… A confused, disorientated sponge. 

Backstage Tales From Bland TV #1: The One Show’s Christmas Party

In the first of his short stories based on the backstage antics of bland TV shows, Shaun Ponsonby imagines the events surrounding The One’s Show’s Christmas party.

Cosmic Slop #114: The Mercury Prize Is The Brits For Pretentious People

As the Mercury Prize shortlist is announced, Shaun Ponsonby argues that the award has never been all its cracked up to be. 

KLF Khronicles #1

Planet Slop’s Vicky Pea prepares to be welcomed to the Dark Ages by The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu. 

Doctor Who: Why A Time Lady Is Integral

As the BBC announce Jodie Whittaker as the first Time Lady, Sean Broadhurst argues that the change is not only canon, but central to the show. 

Cosmic Slop #113: The Most Popular Video On YouTube

Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth have overtaken Gangnam Style as the most popular video on YouTube, but Shaun Ponsonby finds it the musical equivalent of a Happy Meal toy.

Bowie, Zappa, Adele & The Purpose Of Contemporary Music

With Glastonbury reactions highlighting the debate over elite and popular art, Alan Parry ponders the purpose of contemporary pop music.

Cosmic Slop #112: The Guitar Hero Is Dead. So What?

After an article on the death of the guitar led to mourning from some, Shaun Ponsonby argues that it isn’t worth your tears. 

Cosmic Slop #111: Foo Fighters, Radiohead & The Obligatory Glastonbury Article

In a lame attempt for legitimacy, Shaun Ponsonby writes a supposedly mandatory article about Glastonbury, and looks at the major differences between two of 2017’s headliners.

Cosmic Slop #110: The History of the Devil Horns

As KISS’ Gene Simmons tries to patent the devil horns hand gesture, Shaun Ponsonby looks back at the history of it’s usage. Spoiler: Gene didn’t invent it.  

Interesting Times #1: The General Election, An Inept Tory Campaign & The Challenges Ahead

Following a General Election of twists and turns Paul Riley presents his thoughts on an inept Tory Campaign, and the challenges ahead for both Labour and Brexit.

Cosmic Slop #109: Politics and Music – Don’t You Listen To The Lyrics?

Shaun Ponsonby keeps his eyes on the political and asks how audiences can possibly act surprised or offended when prominent, outspoken artists incorporate their views into their live shows. 

Is Ian McNabb Really an Inside Job?

A strange Facebook page claims to be revealing the truth behind Liverpool conspiracy buster and occasional songwriter Ian McNabb, so Shaun Ponsonby tracked down the man behind it and demanded answers.

Cosmic Slop #108: The All-New Cosmic Slop Reboot

Returning like Twin Peaks on a different network, Shaun Ponsonby finds the all-new Cosmic Slop closer to Alien: Covenant.

Cosmic Slop #107: I’m obsessed with 80s boyband New Edition, and other uncomfortable truths

Spearheaded by BET’s acclaimed miniseries The New Edition Story, Shaun Ponsonby confesses to an unlikely series of personal obsessions.

Cosmic Slop #106: Gary Barlow and Mariah Carey – Razzies in waiting

As Mariah Carey and Gary Barlow venture into Hollywood, Shaun Ponsonby dreads the onslaught of pop stars in movies.

Cosmic Slop #105: LGBT superheroes and the lost art of “Mouse Trapping”

With hype over LGBT characters in several upcoming movies, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we haven’t reached a point where that isn’t a big deal.

Cosmic Slop #104: Everything except Ed Sheeran

As the hype surrounding Ed Sheeran’s new album starts to grate, Shaun Ponsonby would rather talk about Hieronymus Bosch and the mating habits of the Praying Mantis.

Cosmic Slop #103: Beauty and the Beast and the Disney remakes

As Disney prepare their latest live action remake, Shaun Ponsonby considers whether they have any other option.

Cosmic Slop #102: Whatever happened to Andrew Ridgeley?

After Andrew Ridgeley paid tribute to his former Wham! bandmate at BRITS, Shaun Ponsonby answers the question on virtually nobody’s lips.

Cosmic Slop #101: BRIT Awards 2017 – pop’s sad wank

Back for his annual plea deal punishment Shaun Ponsonby breaks down the 2017 Brit Awards.

Cosmic Slop #100: Grammys 2017 – bad tributes, boycotts and the cult of Beyonce

For his milestone 100th Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby shuns the celebrations to concentrate on trashing people more talented than him at the Grammys.

Cosmic Slop #99: Lady GaGa’s satanic ritual

Despite plaudits from fans and the media, Shaun Ponsonby noticed a strange school of thought developing around Lady GaGa’s Super Bowl performance.

Cosmic Slop #98: Gary Barlow’s hair raising escapades

As every article written all week was about the protests, Shaun Ponsonby nearly gave up his column, until an astonishing announcement from Gary Barlow.

Cosmic Slop #97: How is Chris Brown still a thing?

As nobody’s favourite obnoxious punching bag, Chris Brown, stirs controversy once again, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we bother to keep him around.

Cosmic Slop #96: The Joe Swash fan club

Since Michael Buble had to give up his high profile gig, Shaun Ponsonby somehow manages to tie the Brits, Showgirls and Joe Swash together in a nice little package.

Cosmic Slop #95: A new hope

Responding to social media self-righteousness, Shaun Ponsonby does his usual half-arsed rant.

Cosmic Slop #94: 2016 – a cosmic review of a very sloppy year

As 2016 ends in a mire of disappointment, Shaun Ponsonby takes a look back at the year in innocuous bullshit via self-serving conceit.

Cosmic Slop #93: BBC Music Awards – what the hell was that?!

The BBC Music Awards returns for its third depressing year, and as ever Shaun Ponsonby watched it so you don’t have to.

Cosmic Slop #92: The almost amazing Christmas number one predictometer

Originally published on Getintothis As the race for the Christmas number one gets closer to the finish line, Shaun Ponsonby looks at this year’s favourites.  Here we go, people! It is that […]

Cosmic Slop #91: Who gives a toss what NME’s favourite album is?

Originally published on Getintothis Following pretend outrage over NME’s album of the year, Shaun Ponsonby asks why anyone would care what the magazine put on top of their list. I’ve never really […]

Cosmic Slop #90: Should we cut Kanye West some slack?

Originally posted on Getintothis As Kanye West is hospitalised following a series of bizarre outbursts, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby asks if we should back off and let him deal with his […]

Cosmic Slop #89: Presenting the official Cosmic Slop Christmas album

Originally posted on Getintothis As a plethora of artists ready their seasonal albums, Shaun Ponsonby exclusively reveals his own Christmas record to the nation.  

Cosmic Slop #88: Stop saying The Simpsons predicted Trump

Originally posted on Getintothis Following the shock result in the US election, as ever Shaun Ponsonby is focussed on the bigger issues. 

Cosmic Slop #87: Celebrity By-Election

Originally posted on Getintothis As the abysmal American election reaches its conclusion, Shaun Ponsonby suggests a reality TV show that can help politics build on Trumpageddon. 

Cosmic Slop #86: Justin Bieber – shut up and sing

Originally posted on Getintothis As Bieber makes headlines for shushing his audience, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby reckons it matters little given that Biebs has nothing to say. 

Cosmic Slop #85: Let’s talk about SEX

Originally posted on Getintothis As Joe Jonas unveils his new, sexy image, Shaun Ponsonby finds little worth masturbating over. 

Cosmic Slop #84: Who is Bruno Mars pretending to be this time?

Originally posted on GetintothisAs Bruno Mars reveals the first single off his new album, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders when he is going to get an identity of his own. 

Cosmic Slop #83: Seasick Steve and the artifice of rock & roll

Originally posted on Getintothis As Seasick Steve is revealed to be something of a fraud, Shaun Ponsonby responds with a resounding “so what?”

Cosmic Slop #82: FIFA declare world peace

Originally posted on Getintothis As FIFA shuts down its racism taskforce, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby congratulates them for having “completely fulfilled” their mission.  

Cosmic Slop #81: In defence of Corey Feldman

Originally posted on Getintothis As the world trolls Corey Feldman, Shaun Ponsonby asks if his performance was really that bad. 

Cosmic Slop #80: Streaming and screaming – do the charts have a viable future?

Originally posted on Getintothis With new records supposedly being broken every week and Olly Murs complaining about the lack of fairness in the charts, Shaun Ponsonby asks how much streaming […]

Cosmic Slop #79: UB40 and Corbyn’s Dadaist revolution

Originally posted on Getintothis As UB40 support Jeremy Corbyn at a weird press conference this week, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby tries to get his head around it by applying the contradictory […]

Cosmic Slop #78: VMAs 2016 – obnoxious crap, and Beyonce

Originally posted on Getintothis As the MTV Video Music Awards desperately plod on, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby decided to watch it so you didn’t have to. 

Cosmic Slop #77: A self-indulgent whinge

Originally posted on Getintothis Following James Corden’s attempts to sing a Prince song with Coldplay, Shaun Ponsonby seems just about ready to give up. 

Cosmic Slop #76: The sad life of a football-hating scouser

As we reach an Orwellian dictatorship where Gary Lineker is Big Brother, Shaun Ponsonby predicts a radical uprising of oppressed non-football fans. 

Cosmic Slop #75: Adele at the Super Bowl? To zzzzzzzzzz or not to zzzzzzzzzz

Originally posted on Getintothis As rumours run rife regarding Adele’s involvement in the Super Bowl, Shaun Ponsonby asks how appropriate she is. 

Cosmic Slop #74: The musical genius of Tiffany Trump

Originally posted on Getintothis As Donald Trump officially becomes the Republican nominee for the American election, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby explores the sole musical endeavour of his daughter.

Cosmic Slop #73: LIMF 2016 – what we learned about crowds, dogs and toilets at this year’s event

Following this year’s festivities, Shaun Ponsonby ponders on the lessons he learned at LIMF 2016.

Cosmic Slop #72: T In The Park and the current state of the major British festival

Originally posted on Getintothis With T In The Park in crisis, Shaun Ponsonby asks if the audiences at major British music festivals has chaged beyond recognition.

Cosmic Slop #71: The 1975’s Matt Healy is basically the new Johnny Borrell

Originally posted on Getintothis As the rise of The 1975 continues, Shaun Ponsonby feels a sense of déjà vu with front man Matt Healy.  

Cosmic Slop #70: Beyonce, Timberlake and bullshit news stories

Originally posted on Getintothis With the country in disarray, Shaun Ponsonby decides that if the news can still afford to report on non-stories, then he can too. 

Cosmic Slop #69: Brexit, nationalism and politics via The Simpsons

Following obvious recent events, Shaun Ponsonby tries to explain where the country is via a classic episode of The Simpsons and the Catholic method of contraception.

Cosmic Slop #68: Who would want to see 60% of the Spice Girls?

Originally posted on Getintothis With 60% of the Spice Girls expected to reunite with replacements, Shaun Ponsonby wonders who the bloody hell would want to see that.  

Cosmic Slop #67: Did Adele REALLY wet herself on stage?

Originally posted on Getintothis Following a claim about an on-stage incident, Shaun Ponsonby explores a recent pandemic.  

Cosmic Slop #66: Venues need to do more for disabled audience members

Seeing the frustrations first-hand, Shaun Ponsonby adds his voice to a current burning topic. 

Cosmic Slop #65: Quadrophenia 2 is a horrible idea

Originally posted on Getintothis As a sequel to the classic cult movie is announced, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby bemoans the laziness of constant franchise reboots. 

Cosmic Slop #64: Prophets of Rage – do supergroups ever work?

Originally posted on Getintothis With rumours of a Rage Against The Machine and Public Enemy collaboration, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders if supergroups ever really work. 

Cosmic Slop #63: Azealia Banks – do we really need a longer headline than that?

Originally posted on Getintothis Like the rest of the world, Shaun Ponsonby watched Azealia Banks’ attack on Zayn Malik in horror, so the sanctimonius cretin decided to comment on it. 

Cosmic Slop #62: Was Robbie Williams the last great British pop star?

Originally posted on Getintothis Announcing a new album deal with Sony, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders if Robbie Williams was actually the last un-boring pop megastar Britain has produced. 

Cosmic Slop #61: Beyonce and Jay-Z – let’s be honest, there probably isn’t a “Becky”

With speculation rife over the identity of “Becky”,  Shaun Ponsonby calls bullshit. 

Cosmic Slop #60: AC/DC have finally lost the respect of their audience

After dumping frontman Brian Johnson for Axl Rose after 30 years, Shaun Ponsonby bids farewell to one of rock’s most beloved outfits.

Cosmic Slop #59: KISS vs NWA – or rock vs rap

As KISS’ resident arsehole Gene Simmons gets into a spat with NWA, Shaun Ponsonby asks how there can still be a rock-rap divide.

Cosmic Slop #58: Are The Smiths reuniting? No, that’s a stupid question

With The Smiths starting a Twitter account sending ripples of excitement through the internet, Shaun Ponsonby tries to slap some sense into everybody.

Cosmic Slop #57: Justin Bieber fans have paid $2,000 to meet cardboard

Shaun Ponsonby vents at Justin Bieber for replacing himself with a cardboard cut-out for fans who paid $2,000 for a Meet and Greet.

Cosmic Slop #56: Keith Richards, Aaron Carter and measuring cool on the Trumpometer

As America’s film and music stars come out either way on Trump, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby notices that the cooler the personality, the less likely they are to support the sleazy lunatic.

Cosmic Slop #55: Was Janet Jackson more artistically viable than brother Michael?

Following the cancellation of her European tour, Shaun Ponsonby listened to Janet Jackson’s discography and began to wonder if she has been a more interesting artist than her more famous […]

Cosmic Slop #54: Can Glastonbury ever get it right?

As social media bemoans the lazy choice of Glastonbury’s headliners, Shaun Ponsonby asks if the festival will ever be able to announce headliners without an outcry. 

Cosmic Slop #53: BRIT Awards 2016 – Bowie, Adele, Bieber and terrible stage management

With another year of nothing, Shaun Ponsonby attempts to find something interesting to say about this year’s BRITS. 

Cosmic Slop #52: Grammys 2016 – when did popstars get so lame?

As another year brings another dull Grammy ceremony, Shaun Ponsonby asks when pop and rock stars became less cool than the rest of us.

Cosmic Slop #51: Re-evaluating Status Quo

As one of Britain’s most maligned bands announce their intention to quit touring, Shaun Ponsonby asks if they really deserve their reputation. 

Cosmic Slop #50: Zayn Malik’s Pillowtalk – does singing about sex always mean you’ve “matured”?

With the hype surrounding the former One Direction singer’s debut solo single, Shaun Ponsonby asks why explicit sex songs are considered mature, rather than adolescent.

Cosmic Slop #49: Is the world flat? No, but B.o.B. thinks so

Rapper B.o.B. this week proved that celebrities shouldn’t control their own twitter account by lecturing his followers on why the world is flat, and Shaun Ponsonby was riled. 

Cosmic Slop #48: Bowie and Winehouse – legendary dead people to dominate BRIT Awards

Shaun Ponsonby vents bitterly about the BRITS’ characteristically lazy nominations and lousy sounding Bowie tribute.

Cosmic Slop #47: Do we really buy Justin Bieber’s redemption?

As rational human beings start giving into Justin Bieber, Shaun Ponsonby asks whether we should really buy such a transparent mediation.  

Cosmic Slop #46: Prince, Springsteen and the deluxe reissue

Shaun Ponsonby spent his Christmas having a mini-Twitter spat with Prince about the proposed Purple Rain reissue, so he obviously wants to brag about it. 

Cosmic Slop #45: Top 10 dumbest quotes of 2015

Adding to the long list of end of year lists, Shaun Ponsonby looks at the 2015’s genius words of wisdom from the musical philosophers of our time. 

Cosmic Slop #44: Peter Gabriel is teaching monkeys how to use Skype

With arguably the greatest title of any edition of Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby looks at Peter Gabriel’s scientific experiments.

Cosmic Slop #43: Is it possible to separate art from artist?

As controversy surrounds R. Kelly’s performance at the Soul Train Awards, Shaun Ponsonby poses some big questions. 

Cosmic Slop #42: Justin Bieber vs the wrath of rock fans everywhere

After Justin Bieber receives abuse for wearing Nirvana and Metallica t-shirts, Shaun Ponsonby asks why this means so much to us. 

Cosmic Slop #41: Prince vs. scalpers – how can we combat professional touting?

As Prince postponed the sale of his European tour because of touting on an “industrial scale”, Shaun Ponsonby supports him wholeheartedly. 

Cosmic Slop #40: Motley Crue’s final tour and the gimmickry of rock & roll

Shaun Ponsonby caught 80s bad boys Motley Crue on their final UK tour last week, and he was surprised to find it gave him something to ponder.

Cosmic Slop #39: Adele and Sam Smith – still miserable

Adele returns and is accused of ripping off Tom Waits, whilst Sam Smith unveils the saddest song he’s ever written. Shaun Ponsonby wonders why people think being miserable is deeper […]

Cosmic Slop #38: I hate James Bond

With the release of Spectre, Shaun Ponsonby outlines his utter hatred for a beloved British institution. 

Cosmic Slop #37: Olly Murs is wrong, The X Factor is all but finished

Shaking his head at the delusions of noted philosopher Olly Murs, Shaun Ponsonby pokes holes – and, in some ways weirdly agrees – with his statements. 

Cosmic Slop #36: George Osborne – NWA fan? I don’t think so

As George Osborne claims to be an NWA fan, Shaun Ponsonby questions how the Chancellor can be a fan of the gangsta rap legends, while ignoring the message in their music.

Cosmic Slop #35: Being bisexual doesn’t excuse Azealia Banks from homophobia

With the latest accusations of homophobia aimed at Azealia Banks, Shaun Ponsonby finds himself perplexed at her idiocy.  

Cosmic Slop #34: Is it possible to fit the David Cameron pig allegations into a music blog?

Shaun Ponsonby tries to desperately to put a unique, music-based spin on the recent David Cameron allegations. 

Cosmic Slop #33: The Whitney Houston hologram is abhorrent

Admitting that he wouldn’t even go to see the real Whitney Houston, Shaun Ponsonby is still uneasy about the proposed touring hologram.

Cosmic Slop #32: The VMAs are a load of bollocks

More a series of boring publicity stunts than an awards show, Shaun Ponsonby takes a swipe at the MTV VMAs.

Cosmic Slop #31: Why the smugness about One Direction’s split?

There’s a lot of anti-passion surrounding the impending demise of 1D. Shaun Ponsonby doesn’t understand why these people even care. 

Cosmic Slop #30: Musical families…on TV!

Having watched horrible, long-forgotten TV variety shows starring the Osbournes and the Jacksons over this last week, Shaun Ponsonby puts his foot down.

Cosmic Slop #29: Musicians who don’t like music

Two rock legends have confessed that they don’t actually like music, and Shaun Ponsonby is befuddled. 

Cosmic Slop #28: Did you know/care that the Black Eyed Peas had reunited?

Shaun Ponsonby gets the lowdown on William and Alex Ferguson reuniting with…erm…you know, the other two.

Cosmic Slop #27: Rabbit season – Bugs Bunny’s at 75

Getting distracted whilst looking for music news to waffle about, Shaun Ponsonby instead celebrates the birthday on the world’s greatest rabbit.

Cosmic Slop #26: When did NME become a glorified Noel Gallagher fanzine?

After making a brief observation last week, Shaun Ponsonby takes a full stab at NME’s unhealthy Noel Gallagher obsession. 

Cosmic Slop #25: Why is Madonna trying to convince us that she’s funny? Because she isn’t.

With Madonna’s latest attempts to convince the world that she is a hoot, Shaun Ponsonby asks “why?” Just “why?”

Cosmic Slop #24: Lennon, McCartney and the business of rock martyrdom

As Macca receives a backlash from Lennon fans, Shaun Ponsonby gives some perspective.

Cosmic Slop #23: When did Taylor Swift become the most powerful person in the world?

As Taylor Swift successfully takes on Apple, Getintothis’ Shaun Ponsonby wonders what other world problems she could solve.

Cosmic Slop #22: Sex Pistols credit cards and the art of “selling out”

Shaun Ponsonby tackles the Sex Pistols credit card debacle the only way he can. With quantum mechanics. 

Cosmic Slop #21: Ten Walls and the astonishingly homophobic rant

As DJ and producer Ten Walls goes on an anti-gay rant on social media, Shaun Ponsonby calls him out on all accounts. 

Cosmic Slop #20: Gary Barlow as economic doppelganger

Gary Barlow’s continued success is bad for the UK economy, or at least Shaun Ponsonby seems to think so.

Cosmic Slop #19: Bill O’Reilly is more responsible for the decline of religion than rap

As Fox News anchor Bill O’Reilly blames hip-hop for America’s decline in religion, Shaun Ponsonby suggests he takes a good hard look at himself.

Cosmic Slop #18: What will it take for The Simpsons to admit defeat?

As The Simpsons loses one of its core cast members, Shaun Ponsonby takes a break from scouring music news to plead with the show’s staff to let it go. 

Cosmic Slop #17: Simon Cowell’s Ultimate DJ – the show nobody wanted is finally getting made

With Simon Cowell this week announcing his X Factor for DJs, Shaun Ponsonby can barely contain his excitement.

Cosmic Slop #16: Bez, Brand, Brian May and the 2015 Election Blues

As Britain heads to the polls, Shaun Ponsonby takes a look at the campaigning rock stars and celeb-u-tards in the public eye during the 2015 election.  

Cosmic Slop #15: Why would any rational human being believe the Oasis at Glasto rumours?

In a week were Oasis fans made ill-informed, irrational assumptions, Shaun Ponsonby points out the flaws in the Glastonbury rumours.

Cosmic Slop #14: Can we please stop with this Illuminati crap?

As Kanye denies the existence of the Illuminati, Shaun Ponsonby takes a rational look at the myth. 

Cosmic Slop #13: What’s the point of Jason Derulo?

As Jason Derulo announces his fourth album, Shaun Ponsonby laments him and his lazy ilk. 

Cosmic Slop #12: A sort-of defence of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame

As the often lamented Rock & Roll Hall of Fame readies it’s 2015 ceremony, Shaun Ponsonby feels the need to defend it’s existence. Ish. 

Cosmic Slop #11: How harmful can boybands be?

Watching in horror at the reaction of One Direction fans following Zayn Malik’s departure, Shaun Ponsonby points the finger of blame at the group’s representatives. 

Cosmic Slop #10: Radio 1 were right not to playlist Madonna

As Madonna’s accusations of ageism against Radio 1 continue, Shaun Ponsonby tells her to wake up and smell her audience. 

Cosmic Slop #9: People complaining about Kanye at Glasto are morons

The announcement of Kanye’s headlining slot at Glastonbury has suffered a backlash. Shaun Ponsonby is trying to convince the participants to get over it. 

Cosmic Slop #8: Why do we have guilty pleasures?

As Twitter makes him feel guilty for flying the flag for one of his childhood heroes, Shaun Ponsonby asks why we allow ourselves to have guilty pleasures. 

Cosmic Slop #7: The “sickening” world of the actor-turned-musician

Before starting a supergroup Johnny Depp labelled actors-turned-musicians “sickening”, Shaun Ponsonby investigates how true this is.

Cosmic Slop #6: The BRITs, Madonna, Kanye & the big fall out from The O2 Arena

In a special bumper Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby mulls over the highs and lows of what is advertised as “the biggest night in British music“.

Cosmic Slop #5: Can music television learn from sport?

This week, as music fans were forced to read about X Factor news, Shaun Ponsonby asks why sports fans don’t suffer a similar fate.

Cosmic Slop #4: What’s with Kanye’s obsession with Beyoncé?

As Kanye West replicates Swiftgate, Shaun Ponsonby definitely doesn’t question his motives for sucking up to Jay-Z’s wife. Again.

Cosmic Slop #3: Blink-182 and the rock & roll soap opera

It’s all kicking off on Blink 182: The Soap Opera with lead actors axed, cast changes and outrageous storylines, Shaun Ponsonby is not a fan.

Cosmic Slop #2: Live Earth 2015, because Band Aid 30 wasn’t enough

In the second instalment of new column Cosmic Slop, Shaun Ponsonby deplores this  year’s token telethon rock concert, Live Earth.

Cosmic Slop #1: The Pono Vs The Walkman – can Neil Young’s digital device find a home?

In his inaugural Cosmic Slop column, Shaun Ponsonby mulls over the need or demand for portable music players in a digital world.